is they real or is they not?
Some time ago, we vibin’ in our mystery detective office. Cow bring chicken snack for me and she chewing hay. We has to write report last mystery we solved for files, but I don’t wanna. Cow she don’t either. We make a bet: is we has a new mystery today she do it, is we not I do it. I has secret infoknowledges and I loling in my head.
While we waiting we look at bird app and check on animal caucus. We a lil bit worried Pidgin and Parrot make trouble today. But maybe is good trouble.
I finish my chicken and I still hungry. I leave to find more chicken, or maybe ham, and say I return soon. I know a very nice deli is just around corner. Maybe I get chicken and also ham.
I go inside deli and woman look at me and tell deli man dogs don’t belong here. Rude. Dogs also need chicken. And ham. I side eye her very strongly and she leave. Deli man give me my nom noms and I return to office.
Inside, Cow she both excited and a lil bit irritated. She tell me we has a new client who visit office while I visit deli! I loling: now Cow she has to write report and not meeee.
I ask her about client. Who is it? What they want? When they come back? She say client is very mysterious. They wear long coat and hat and sunglasses and of course mask.
They don’t give Cow their name, either. I give Cow my “is you serious” face. She say maybe they come back tomorrow. Or another day.
Before then, we start investigating. Mystery client has concerns about ballots. Hmmm. I ask Cow is they a dancer?
Cow say no and explain to me. Maybe a few days ago, there was very important election for…
…Animal Caucus Nom Nom Chief. NNC is caucus member in charge of choosing snack menu until next election. Wut. Since when we have NNC? Cow say election has three candidates is pidgin, parrot, and llama. I very worried. Pidgin, parrot, and llama they prolly not liking the same snacks I like. What if they say no chicken? Or ham? I make note for later.
Cow says our new client say they know there are fake ballots and they demand investigation to prove it. I ask Cow if she tell client we investigate truth only? Maybe we find proof is fake, maybe proof is no fake. Cow look away from me and she say she need to go out right away to find clues and she gone. I has no understanding why Cow did not tell them. Or why she look for clues without meeee?
Whatever. I look for my own clues. I go to Animal Caucus barn office. Maybe I look around and maybe I talk with witnesses. Or suspects.
I arrive at Animal Caucus barn office and I hear creepy music as I open door…
…I walk through and door is creaking creaking creaking. Something on my face and no bueno. I shake head and it still there. I still seeing but is dusty and bad smells and I feel it there tickling. I shake harder and it still there on nose and mouth and eyes and ears. I bark and is going in my mouth. How dare it.
Goat see me and say I look silly and what am I doing. I tell her. She laughing and say is cobweb. I don’t care get it off off off. I go to Goat and I rub face on side is working. She annoyed and I say is like hug and I keep going. Finally cobweb all gone from my face. I loling is all over Goat. I look around and barn is very clean and I has no understanding for cobwebs. I ask Goat. She say they practice haunted barn for Halloween. Is March. Is obvious the face I showing her.
Goat is only one in barn so I question her but first I ask for snacks. She show me snack box and I see carrots and hay and bread and seeds and pineapple pizza. Hmph. I take carrot. We talk about election. She tell me Parrot is first winner (12 votes), Pidgin is second winner (10 votes), and Llama is last (7 votes). Is very close.
I tell her show me ballots and she agreeing and take me to office office next to barn office. She say ballots in box in closet. I open closet and I see box. I see open empty box. I turn around to ask Goat is she show me wrong closet.
I roll eyes even though I alone. Why everyone keep leaving? I sit down and do thinking and planning.
We has mysterious client and only Cow she see them. Maybe is imposter among us. Cow very secretive. We has very important election and votes very close. Snack box very mostly herbivore right now. Ballots gone. Goat gone. I not knowing location for Parrot, Llama, and Pidgin. Is all very sus. I return to mystery detective office for more thinking. Also I has deli snacks.
I find Cow at office. She has biiig pile of grass and she chewing. Is very messy. Where she get that grass? She has a dealer? (No, is not that grass.) I ask her and she look away and whistling. I stare with my judgy face. I can wait. Finally, she stop and she tell me is present. I still think she sus. I tell her my clues. She has no clues. She keep eating and grass pile is shrinking.
Hmmm. Grass green. I start seeing lil white. I side eye grass. Cow eat more and I see more white. I yell her to stop. I nose grass pile and I find many lil white papers. Is some in pieces and has teeth bites.
I look at Cow and I give her stink eye. I ask again who give her present. I ask again. I ask again. I ask again. She whisper name to me. I sit down I shocked.
Is bird. Bird give her present. How can bird move big pile of grasses? And is which bird? We know many birds. Hmmm. Idk. I wonder is Cow knowing she eat ballots or is she not knowing. I has to count ballots and know is any missing. I move grasses in other piles and ballots in one pile. Cow she ask if she can eat more grasses. I roll eyes and say ok.
I look at ballots. I knowing there is 29 ballots. I see maaany white papers tho. Hmmm. I notice some ballots whole and some ballots not whole. I see some not whole ballots just instructions and no voting. I count 5 not whole ballots. Is most no bueno I ever see. I give Cow stink eye. She say she not eating so many white papers just 2 maybe 3. Hmmm. I examine chewed side for not whole ballots. Is possible different teeths chewed ballots.
I think we need has a talk with all our maybe witnesses and suspects.
I leave office to go to barn. I realize I leave ballots on floor and deli snacks. I go back. I find box for ballots and I count before putting inside. Hmmm. I see Parrot has 11 votes. Pidgin has 11 votes. Llama has 9 votes. I has no understanding. Is 31 whole ballots and 5 not whole ballots. But Goat she tell me is total 29 ballots. Everyone sus. I can’t even.
I go to barn and I see Goat, Cow, and Llama. I no see birds. I send Bird Signal: is big light in sky saying COME HERE NOW. I wait and wait and wait. Where are birds? I look up and I no see them. I no see Bird Signal either. Oh. Is daylight. Sigh. I use second option: ring very big bell. Parrot and Pidgin they arrive very soon. Slowly, more of Animal Caucus they arrive also. I see Wombat, Deer, Otter, and I thinking I see Soul but I not certain.
Everybody grumpy. I tell them have snacks because we gotta talk. They complain is not enough snacks. I tell them get over it we has a problem.
I need to be very sneaky and subtle when I question them. I has suspicion what happened.
I find stack of hay bales and I climb on top with box of ballots. I taller than everybody. I use outside voice and say, “YO, we has cheaters identify yourselves!”
Everybody silent and staring at each other.
Maybe demanding with outside voice is not best idea. I explain to them confusion before Goat say we has 29 ballots and now we has 31 whole ballots and 5 not whole ballots.
7 ballots is they real or is they not?
Votes is so close winner could be Llama or Parrot or Pidgin. Hmmm. How we fixing this? I thinking we count voters on registration list. Is 29 registered voters, so 7 ballots not real.
I solve mystery! I jump and jump and jump!
Cow she whisper to me we not knowing is which 7 ballots not real. Is maybe 7 whole ballots not real and maybe 5 not whole ballots are real. Or maybe 2 whole ballots and 5 not whole ballots are not real.
I sit down. I very sad. I tell Cow is her fault because she eat ballots. Maybe real ballots or maybe not real ballots.
Pidgin he shout he the winner. He shout very loudly. I tell Pidgin shush results is not certain.
I need more thinking. I tell everyone we has intermission and I go sit in barn.
I frustrated. I thinking and thinking and not think of answer. I get box with ballots and dump on floor for sorting. I look at 5 not whole ballots. Is impossible seeing candidate they voted for. Is ofc no names for who voter is. I stare and stare. Whole ballots: all has funny black lines in box at top. Some lines thin and some lines thicker but they look different for each ballot. I look at not whole ballots. They also has black lines. I has brilliant noticing: black lines for not whole ballots all same.
They not real ballots. They fake.
I look more at whole ballots. Lines different. Lines different. Lines different. I need snacks. I get chicken. Lines different. Lines different. Lines no different. HA I find fake ballot number 6. I keep looking and looking and finally I find fake ballot number 7. I wonder who make fake ballots.
I see whole fake ballots is votes for Llama. Probably she make them. She sus. Parrot and Pidgin also sus. Is bird delivering grass with hidden ballots to Cow so she eat them.
Everyone sus. (Cow sus because she eat ballots. Goat sus because Goat.)
I mostly solve mystery but I still has no answer.
I has idea. Is only solution. I go outside for telling everyone.
I go outside and I see everyone they talking or napping or eating. I climb up on hay bales. I use outside voice because obviously. “YO you stop right now! I has announcement!” Most everyone stop and they look at meee. I see Pidgin he still talking with Parrot. I roll eyes. Hmmm. “PIDGIN PARROT YOU STOP!” They keep talking but finally they stop.
I tell them I identified fake ballots and we has only 29 ballots. Results same as first time: Parrot is first winner (12 votes), Pidgin is second winner (10 votes), and Llama is last (7 votes). Parrot very happy excited and Pidgin shouting is a Big Lie and he winning. Llama very sad.
Then I explain fake ballot mystery. Is possible Llama she cheating so she win. But we also knowing bird deliver grass with hidden ballots. We not knowing which bird. Is Pidgin? Is Parrot? Maybe they frame Llama? Is very complicated but I has understanding. Is most likely Pidgin he cheating. He jealous Parrot winning election so he frame Llama.
Cow she say is not definite certain. I roll eyes of course I knowing that, I just tell story to explain. Is still possible Llama trick Pidgin or Parrot. Is possible Parrot frame Pidgin. They rivals.
Everyone whisper talking and is getting louder. I tell them solution: We has a do over.
Before new election, I choose me for being interim Nom Nom Chief.